Things that parents always forget to tell their children

I went through some of my old texts today when I found this list. It was put together a couple of years back by some friends of mine; Johanna, Ronja, Johan and Louise. I asked permission to share it with you because I find it perfectly excellent. Why don't you see if you can recognize what they're referring to.

• Never trust someone talking to you from the sewers. No matter what IT offers.

• If you ever find yourself lost, never go in to a castle that has a sign that says; enter at own risk.

• If a bunny tells you that the world is coming to an end, it's time to ask mummy for a psychiatrist.

• The cake is always a lie, except for birthdays.

• Please, always poke the cake before you cut. For safety reasons.

• Good plants are quiet plants. Those are okay to feed.

• When the scary music begins, don't open the door.

• If you shower, you shower alone. If someone enters, something is wrong (this also applies to teenagers).

• If you find yourself in a horror movie, never say "I'll be right back".

• Remember: The dumb bimbo always dies first. So stay in school!

• If you for no reason suddenly appear on TV in the middle of the night, the TV repairman is not you friend.

• Don't watch unknown VHS video's without label.

• A memo for anyone over 18: if anyone tries to get into your bed, gently pull their hair. If it's stuck to the head, you may proceed. If it comes off; please keep in mind that not any clothes in the world will stop what is about to happen.

• Never go to the circus alone.

• If your body mass fills the entire elevator, it's diet time.

• Never trust a talking puppet. Especially on TV.

• An apple pie is for eating, and eating only.

• Never play on a trumpet that doesn't belong to you.

• Any restaurant that is combined with a barber shop should never be payed a visit.

• If you ever get the opportunity, do NOT follow the rabbit in the waist coat.

• A person that glitters in the sun is very unusual. Should also be avoided.

• Lightning pirates aren't always what they seem to be.

• If an odd person with blue skin begins to waggle in your direction, hiding is always an excellent idea.

• Finding good dentists is a great challenge. But stay away from the singing ones. If you're unsure about a dentist you can also scan the waiting room for masochistic patients (they tend to look a bit too eager about having a dentist appointment).

• No matter what changes in the future, wrighting 42 on every answer on a test will not guarantee you a decent grade.

The last point Johanna actually tried ones. She got a gold star. You have to love that teacher (;